You survived the first couple of weeks of school! How did it go? Did you handle it very demure, very mindful? No matter how you showed up at the beginning of the semester, you made it to today, and that is something to celebrate. Previously, we covered tools where we talked about having a clean space, establishing a routine, tools for reducing first day anxiety, and getting organized. Now, let’s keep building on tools for managing anxiety while returning to school.
Setting boundaries and consistent limits for children can be challenging! The ACT Limit-Setting method is a common method implemented in child-centered play therapy and can also be used as a tool for parents. Garry Landreth is the founder of child-centered play and has created this tool to simplify limit-setting.
Mornings with children can be a rollercoaster ride, with unexpected twists and turns that leave parents feeling overwhelmed and defeated. It also impacts the entire family dynamics, and a lot of energy is spent trying to manage big emotions. When faced with difficult mornings, it's essential to approach the situation with patience, empathy, and a strategic plan.
In 2015, I became a stepmom. I wasn’t looking to join a blended family, but finding them has been a bonus and a blessing. The man who captured my heart has two phenomenal children from his first marriage. We dated six months or so before I met the kiddos, who were 8 and 10 years old at the time.
Being able to calm oneself is a learned skill. As caregivers, we may forget that the ability to regulate is a skill that is modeled and taught. Just as we teach our children to count, read, and tie their shoes, we must also teach them the skills to self-regulate. We all have different ways of regulating when our emotions run over. Maybe it’s a walk through the park, a few deep breaths, or smelling your favorite lotion as you put it on.
Some adults may know of the five love languages in relation to their partner: acts of service, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts. It’s helpful to understand how one expresses love to another. Did you know that love languages are also helpful in parenting? In my work with parents, I often have parents identify what their child’s love language is, so their child’s need for love is met. When a child feels love, then they feel healthy and emotionally stable.
Think back to March 2020. Schools shut down, offices closed, restaurants providing to-go orders only, activities and parties canceled, and social isolation. Since then, we have found ourselves transitioning to a new normal. Virtual school and appointments, tons of hand sanitizer and Lysol spray, face masks, and continued social isolation. I never thought we would ever become used to our new way of life, but it has started to become comfortable to most people and many children.
Learning about the lizard brain can help you and the child in your life deescalate during heated moments. As parents, caregivers, and teachers we can wonder why children have a difficult time managing emotions. However, we often forget that they need to be taught. Just as we have taught them to brush their teeth, ride a bike, and conquer new math problems, we also have to teach them strategies to sit with their emotions and use coping strategies when possible.
It was 20 years ago this month that my grandfather passed away. This was my first experience with death and the dying process. I was 12 years old, and I still remember the feelings I felt to the news that he passed away… extreme sadness, shock, anger, worry, confusion, etc. Those are a lot of feelings for any child to experience all at once.
Children face many obstacles as they grow such as school challenges, social issues, bullying, life transitions, etc. Each of these can rock one’s world that can lead to heightened anxiety or depression. All too often our child’s wellbeing is only associated with physical health while mental health and anxiety are overlooked. If your child was physically injured or sick, you would bring them to the doctor. If your child was failing a class, you would get them tutoring.
Since life changed in March, you may have noticed your child having more potty accidents, thumb sucking, or drinking from a bottle when your child has not done these things in years. Your child may also have more tantrums and appear clingy as well. It can feel confusing as a parent as to why this is happening and what to do about it.
If you have not talked with your children about race, now is the time. The topic can be sensitive, enlightening, and uncomfortable, but it is imperative to create a dialogue for the ones that will soon run this world, and hopefully, make it a more inclusive and peaceful one. It may be difficult to know how to start the conversation. Here’s how:
